Words like upgradeitis and accessoritis become part of your normal vocabulary.

When 9 bars no longer means you are doing a pub crawl.

When you realize that names like La Marzocco, Weber, KafaTek, Lagom and Slayer are not a law firm.

When you become a James Hoffman patreon and wonder if his glasses would look good on you even though you don't wear glasses.

When you know what flow control, RDT and WDT mean since they are part of your normal workflow.

When you get into conversations with another caffeinated espresso geek over the hole pattern differences between VST and IMS baskets.

When you hear the jingle "The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup" and it makes you twitch violently.

When you realize that just like Santa Claus, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy, there is no Juan Valdez.

When you stop at a truck stop only to get gas and to pee.

When first or second crack is no longer your visual association of plumbers.

When you stop spelling espresso with an "X".

When you have a high end flat burr grinder sitting next to a high end conical grinder because you "know" that your flat burrs are better for espresso and your conical burrs are best for V60 even though only a Q Grader could tell the difference between the two.

When you ask your local roaster when the beans were roasted and how long they have off-gassed before you buy them.

When you start single dosing your beans into bean vaults with one way valves.

When you feel you can justify buying a refractometer.

When you start wearing t-shirts with coffee roasters or manufacturers logos on them.

When 3rd Wave isn't just surfing speak.

When you invite friends over for drinks and instead serve them rounds of espresso shots.

When you plumb your machine into a dedicated $500. water filter and check it weekly with a TDS meter.

When descaling isn't something you step off in the bathroom or what you do to a fish.

When you become familiar with the names of single origin beans, their flavor notes and the plantations they come from.

When you pay for your beans with crypto.

When you have to buy a separate chest freezer to store your growing collection of roasts. And when those beans are worth more than the wines in your wine cellar.

When spending $30./lb for beans seems reasonable or when you feel you got a deal on some Ethiopian geisha that cost less than $100. /lb.

When you start wondering how much money you would save if you started roasting your own beans.

When you look at your wife's rose garden and think about how much better it would look with Arabica coffee bushes instead.

When your annual coffee budget exceeds the GNP of a few small countries.

When you travel with a portable espresso maker, hand grinder, scale and enough beans to last the duration of the trip.

When your vacations become "coffeecations" and you travel only to countries with regions that produce your favorite beans.

When you look at your morning's latte art and think: "I bet I could sell this as an NFT."

When you fantasize about starting your own YouTube coffee channel.

When you don't just get fines while driving your car and channeling doesn't require Molly and a seance.

When you go to your local cafe and order in Italian and thank the barista by saying "Grazie mille" even though he only works there in between acting gigs.

When it's okay to drink an espresso martini at breakfast because, duh, it has coffee in it.

When you would rather drink a cat piss venti than a Starbucks venti.

When you fail to heed the advice of those of us who have disappeared down the rabbit hole when we tell you "run away" and to drink Red Bull, Tim Hortons or even Starbucks instead.

If I've missed any, please feel free to add your own.